Lately, I've been seeing all of these reports and specials about why are Black women single and just about Black people in general. I'm wondering where this new found interest in Black people came from?Not to beat the dead horse its hard any woman of any race to find the right guy to marry or be in a relationship, but for some reason, 42% of Black women in American remain single or have never married. Here some reasons why I think it's so:
The Number Don't Lie
There are about 2 million more Black women than Black men. Already their are going to be some problems. Even if even Black man were to marry a Black woman to day one out of twelve Black women would still be single. Say that there are 100 Black men. Out of those Black men you can elimate 21% who don't have a high school diploma, the unemployed which are about 17% and those who are incarcerated which is about 8%. Which leaves about 54% of dateable men. Oh, and it gets even better. Out of those men, maybe 20% are already married and 10% don't date Black women.
Requirements For A Spouse
What bothers me the most is that people seem to think that all Black women want only thugs. I hate thuggish or ghetto men and I bet many other Black women will second me on that. Most Black women who are professional are usually looking for a man thats on their level or above, also with that he has to be somewhat attractive, intelligent and open-minded. Isn't that what every woman wants? Why should we settle for just any guy thats out there? I would want the best man for myself. I want someone who is a great provider, smart, considerate, and caring. If that's me being picky than so be it. I don't think Black women are pickier than other races of women. They have the same exact standrads!!!
"Just Don't Bring Home A White Boy."
Although interracial marriages have been increased between Black women and other races of men in the last decade, most Black women have never been with someone of a different race. I think this is biggest reason wny many Black women are single. Many of them never try to date a man of a different race. Reasons for this are:
1) Family
Many Black women were told when they were younger by their parents and relatives to never date a man from another race or culture because it would be "going against the community" or it wouldn't be "loyal" to Black men or the Black race. BULLSHIT!!!! No one tells Black men this at all. Black men have been interracially dating for years and no one complains about it all. Why is it such a double standrad? Why have Black women become the "preservers" of the Black community? My own dad even told me this foolishness, but my aunt told me before he was with my mom he dated several white women.SMDH
There are just some Black women who prefer Black men. Just like there are Black men who prefer Black women and White women who prefer White men and Green men who prefer women with stripes. Everyone has their own preferences and people shouldn't be made guilty for that. You can't tell it's wrong for someone to be attracted to certain types of people. I'm attracted to all types of men but I generally prefer White or Latino guys. This leads me kinds to my next to points.
3) Many Non-Black Men Overlook and Ignore Black Women Completely
Seriously!!! This irks me the most!!!
I remember going out with a group of girlfriends to a lounge/resturant. It was maybe about 6 of us I was the only Black chick out of one Latina, 3 white girls and one asian girl. Most of the people there are white, hispanic, or asian. Anyways, we were eating and a group of guys come over and start talking to my friends. They were all white and guess what. Not one of them talked to me!!! It was like I was invisible, they didn't even say hi to me.That whole night I felt so rejected. All of my friends were the ones getting hit on and I got no play at all that night. I'm not an ugly girl at all. I've been told that I'm very beautiful by guys and girls. I even was asked to model for some hip-hop magazine, but I declined I wasn't going to be sticking my ass cheeks out. I have a nice personality too, I'm outgoing, I don't have an attitude and I'm not a bitch. I was voted most likely to brighten up someones day in middle school.
I have come to the conclusion that Black women are unwanted generally by non-Black males. I feel like there is some rule in America that says that Black woman are taboo or off limits. The most beautiful Black woman say, someone who looks like Gabrielle Union or Kenya Moore could walk down a street of White men and they would all ignore her. Just look at any magazine that is marketed to young White men mostly like Maxim or GQ, whenever they have their lists like "Hottest Women in the World" or "Maxim's Top 100 Sexiest Women" there are very few Black women on the list and there hasn't been a Black woman who was in the Top 10 at least. The only Black women who ever qualify for these lists are usually in this order: Beyone, Rhianna, Alicia Keys, and Tyra Banks. These are suppose be the representatives for Black women's hotness, which is unfair because the majority of Black women look different. I remember I was on AskMen.come and they had a list for "The Hottest Babe Producing Countries" not one of those countries was African. They did however mention Brazil which has a majority Black population but is portaryed as a mostly White or mixed race country. Are we not women too? Sometimes I feel that many men don't regard Black women as human at all, that's why many refuse to even try to say hi to us. They would rather disregard every Black female and believe in all the stereotypes of us as being ghetto, promiscious, ugly, fat, loud, bossy, or the mothers of numerous children with different fathers. It makes me sad indeed that this is the attitude of most American men.
4) Even If Black Women Date Interracially
Even if many Black women decide to date interracially, many non-Black men would rather just use them for sex rather than date or marry a Black woman. Ugh!!!! I have dated different races of guys, some of them ended up as serious boyfriends. But the majority were losers who believe in the dumb stereotypes that Black women are suppose to be sluttier and they were just looking for sex. I remember I was with this one guy who was white. He was the guy I talked about in my very first entry. We were friends and I started liking him and I thought he liked me and he said that we were going to be together and he ignored me for 3 months for no reason. He came back to school and he was avoiding me and acted as if he didn't know me and act as if he was ashamed of me. Turns out he lied to all his friends and said that I fucked him and that I was a freak in bed. I never had sex with this guy at all. Whenever I talk to a white guy who is interested in me it seems like they only want me for sex., just to say they've been with a Black chick before I can see why many Black women refuse to date out. It sucks when any man uses you for sex. But when a man uses you just for your race it hurts even more. It's like they can only take you seriously if your only having sex with them.
There is some kind of cultural bias against Black women with other types of men. I think Black women who are with non-Black men tend to get more rude remarks while in public, weird stares, and just a lot of jealousy.Case in point, my ex who was mixed with Lebanese, Colombian and German he was very fair skinned and have blade hair and hazel eyes. Whenever we would go out people would look at us funny and treat us odd. Whenever I'm with any non-Black guy some random Black guy would come bother us talking about "He don't know what to do with all of that ass!" or "Another one bites the dust!" and my favorite one "You're White man humping ass!" Not to mention many non-Black women try to wonder why my boyfriend choose them over me and get jealous.
I remember I had walked inside a resturant with him and he asked for a table and the waitress said "For One?" and she looked at me rudely and asked "Can I help you miss?". My ex was like "No for two, she is with me." His mother hated the sight of me. She was openly racist and she would say things like "I don't want grand children that are Black," "How could you be with a Black person?", "You won't be taken seriously with a Black wife." SMDH!!!
It's not easy for any woman, but I think Black women have it a lot harder in the dating arena. Sometimes I think there is some type of curse on us Black women. If we go to college and have high paying salaries were are being too "emsculating", if we want a man with money we are "golddiggers", if we speak are minds we are suddenly "bitches". It never ends for us sometimes.But there are signs of hope there are more men who ignore the stereotypes and are dating or married to Black women. I hope that all the single Black women will find the right men for them. As for me, I'm only 19 and still in college, there is still plenty of time for me to find the right one. Hopefully he looks like Rudy Reyes, is really smart and give me awesome orgasms.
I have come to the conclusion that Black women are unwanted generally by non-Black males. I feel like there is some rule in America that says that Black woman are taboo or off limits. The most beautiful Black woman say, someone who looks like Gabrielle Union or Kenya Moore could walk down a street of White men and they would all ignore her. Just look at any magazine that is marketed to young White men mostly like Maxim or GQ, whenever they have their lists like "Hottest Women in the World" or "Maxim's Top 100 Sexiest Women" there are very few Black women on the list and there hasn't been a Black woman who was in the Top 10 at least. The only Black women who ever qualify for these lists are usually in this order: Beyone, Rhianna, Alicia Keys, and Tyra Banks. These are suppose be the representatives for Black women's hotness, which is unfair because the majority of Black women look different. I remember I was on AskMen.come and they had a list for "The Hottest Babe Producing Countries" not one of those countries was African. They did however mention Brazil which has a majority Black population but is portaryed as a mostly White or mixed race country. Are we not women too? Sometimes I feel that many men don't regard Black women as human at all, that's why many refuse to even try to say hi to us. They would rather disregard every Black female and believe in all the stereotypes of us as being ghetto, promiscious, ugly, fat, loud, bossy, or the mothers of numerous children with different fathers. It makes me sad indeed that this is the attitude of most American men.
4) Even If Black Women Date Interracially
Even if many Black women decide to date interracially, many non-Black men would rather just use them for sex rather than date or marry a Black woman. Ugh!!!! I have dated different races of guys, some of them ended up as serious boyfriends. But the majority were losers who believe in the dumb stereotypes that Black women are suppose to be sluttier and they were just looking for sex. I remember I was with this one guy who was white. He was the guy I talked about in my very first entry. We were friends and I started liking him and I thought he liked me and he said that we were going to be together and he ignored me for 3 months for no reason. He came back to school and he was avoiding me and acted as if he didn't know me and act as if he was ashamed of me. Turns out he lied to all his friends and said that I fucked him and that I was a freak in bed. I never had sex with this guy at all. Whenever I talk to a white guy who is interested in me it seems like they only want me for sex., just to say they've been with a Black chick before I can see why many Black women refuse to date out. It sucks when any man uses you for sex. But when a man uses you just for your race it hurts even more. It's like they can only take you seriously if your only having sex with them.
There is some kind of cultural bias against Black women with other types of men. I think Black women who are with non-Black men tend to get more rude remarks while in public, weird stares, and just a lot of jealousy.Case in point, my ex who was mixed with Lebanese, Colombian and German he was very fair skinned and have blade hair and hazel eyes. Whenever we would go out people would look at us funny and treat us odd. Whenever I'm with any non-Black guy some random Black guy would come bother us talking about "He don't know what to do with all of that ass!" or "Another one bites the dust!" and my favorite one "You're White man humping ass!" Not to mention many non-Black women try to wonder why my boyfriend choose them over me and get jealous.
I remember I had walked inside a resturant with him and he asked for a table and the waitress said "For One?" and she looked at me rudely and asked "Can I help you miss?". My ex was like "No for two, she is with me." His mother hated the sight of me. She was openly racist and she would say things like "I don't want grand children that are Black," "How could you be with a Black person?", "You won't be taken seriously with a Black wife." SMDH!!!
It's not easy for any woman, but I think Black women have it a lot harder in the dating arena. Sometimes I think there is some type of curse on us Black women. If we go to college and have high paying salaries were are being too "emsculating", if we want a man with money we are "golddiggers", if we speak are minds we are suddenly "bitches". It never ends for us sometimes.But there are signs of hope there are more men who ignore the stereotypes and are dating or married to Black women. I hope that all the single Black women will find the right men for them. As for me, I'm only 19 and still in college, there is still plenty of time for me to find the right one. Hopefully he looks like Rudy Reyes, is really smart and give me awesome orgasms.
2 comments:
Whoa what a fantastic post you wrote. It is true black women have it the worse because of all the unjust stereotypes and the plain fact that if you are not mixed or light skinned, you are considered not beautiful.
On the other hand find a great white guy who thinks the world of you but then there is his family who try to run you off. I know from first hand experience.
Thank you. I've had so many bad experiences. I just wish the world wasn't so complicated and everyone can love who they wanted without bad stereotypes or society telling them whats wrong or right.
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