Volume 1, Issue 59, April 9, 2010: It's Been So Long

I miss blogging and ranting!!!!!!!!!!!! It's been too long since I had a nice entry about life and all its randomness. But I'm so busy with this semester. It's been kicking my ass for the last couple of weeks. I can't focus and I feel drained of all life and energy. It's been really hard for me to complete my school work because I'm ready for this semester to be over. UGH!!!! The weather makes it worst. I hate when it's beautiful outside and you're stuck inside doing a 10 page essay. FML!!!!

Volume 1, Issue 50, Feb.07.2010: Snowpocalpyse

Snow used to be a fun phenomenon that occured when you were a kid and didn't want to go to school. Now that I'm 19, I hate it. There are no benefits to having a snow day as an adult. Yeah it's nice to get out of school for snow as a college student, more study time, more time to do last minute things, but it puts you behind and you have to make up a crap load of work. I heard of some evil universities that make college student go to class on saturdays and sundays just to make up class time. Another thing about snow is, it sucks ass when you are trying to drive or go out the roads are really bad. And if you live in the DC area you are shit out of luck it snows over a foot of snow. The metro closes, metro buses don't run and the roads can go unshoveled for days. I hate the feeling of being stuck in one place for days its torture. I would rather be in 100 degree weather.

Volume 1, Issue 42, January 6, 2010: Archaic Annoying Wedding Traditions That Need To Die

I know that I'm a little late but Happy New Years to all who read my blog. All 5 of you out there. This year is okay so far, but I know its going to be a good one for me.

Anyways, I've been meaning to discuss something that's been bothering me for a while. Weddings. I love weddings, I want to get married someday, but there are so many stupid traditions and customs involved in weddings that I hate. What bothers me is that so many people follow these traditions without knowing what they are truly about. I've been doing a little research and I've produced a list of ancient traditions that need to go away.

1) The White Wedding Dress

This is the worst one ever! I never saw what was so special about a white dress. White is the worst color to me. It's so plain, it doesn't excite me and I don't have the slightest urge to get married in white. When I think of a white dress I think of a KKK robe for some reason. Seriously, what if you are on the rag while wearing a white wedding dress. The whole its tradition and it represent purity is complete fairytale princess bullshit. The tradition stems from Queen Victoria who reigned as Queen of England from 1837-1901. At her wedding to Prince Albert she wore a white dress. After that everyone and their mom wore white wedding dresses just because she had one. It became popular and for many years it became the norm. Actually, before Queen Vicki, women wore their sunday's best on their wedding day and women wore a wide variety of colors and hues, people didn't follow gay-ass trends and customs. Whenever I talk about weddings with friends oor family members they always get freaked out when I say I want a red or a blue wedding gown. Ladies, its you wedding, you can wear black, stripes, white, or booboo green. It's your special day.

2) Removing the Garter

I think this is a tacky and perverted tradition. It orginiated in the middle ages in Europe. Back then couples needed to consummate their marriage immidietaly after the wedding, with witnesses watching. Ew. An example of this is in the Marie Aniontte movie with Kristin Duntz; there is a scene where Marie and King Louis are in bed and there are people standing around them before they go to bed. The tradition was altered years later in which the bride sits down as the groom strips off his brides garter from her leg to show everyone that he's going to get totally laid later on. I think this tradition is wrong in so many ways. If my man takes off any piece off clothing from me, I would start stripping him write than and there. Yeah, so that's why I think its bad because horny people like me would put on a x-rated show for the whole wedding.

3) Matching Bridesmaids

Not everyone will look good in the in the strapless seafoam atrocity above. The maids had to wear similar dresses to ward off evil sprits and jealous ex-lovers from harming the bride; in other words shitstain brown dresses were used to make the bride look better than her brides maids.

4) Giving the Bride Away

Aw, how sweet daddy is giving his first daughter little Suzie away.Not really! Fathers used to use their daughters as currency to pay off debts and get into higher circles. Traditionally, when a father gave his daughter away. He gave away. Marriages were arranges back than and often the bride would never see her family again she belonged to her husband. Hence the surname change. 

5) Throwing Rice At Weddings

It orginated in the ancient Meditterran region, I believe the Romans and Egyptains started this. Anytype of crop or grains were thrown at the married couple for them to have a very fruitful and fertile marriage. This tradition doesn't really annoying me that much but it kills the birds.

Volume 1, Issue 41, December 30, 2009: Underage and Unfair

Isn't it stupid that you are only allowed to have fun if your 21 and older? Whenver I'm trying to go out to club or to hang out I always have to check if the place is 18+ or 21+. I'm only 19 and I won't be turing 21 till 2011. Sucks for me. I can never get into the all the hot clubs, bars and lounges. God forbid an artist or someone famous comes to a club in DC, they always make it 21+. I remember a couple of years back they had Bow Bow perform at Love when he was like 20, but Love wanted to be bitches and they turned the event to 21+. WTF? Most of Bow Bow's fans are under 21+.

Seriously? Why are so many clubs 21+ in DC when there are dozens of college students who are 18+? That's why I hate DC. There isn't shit to do around here unless you are rich or over 21. There aren't a lot of good hangout spots if you want to get away from campus. I don't see what the problem is. Wouldn't it make more sense to let more people in so that the club can make money and get the word out there?

Another thing that pisses me off about being under 21 is the US drinking laws. I don't see why Alcohol is so demonized in this country to the point you have to be 21 just to buy, drink, or sell it. I'm in charge of my own body, shouldn't I be able to put what I want in my body? I am responsbile for it. It's my body I can do what ever the hell I want to it.Why should others have the control to say what I should drink, what I should smoke? I think thats why there are so many drug addicts and drunks in the USA because there are so many laws prohibiting it and sanctioing it, when people get a hold of it they go overboard and overdose or lush out.

I still think the the drinking age should be lowered to 18. 18 is the age of consent; I can drive, vote, pay taxes, marry, get a credit card, buy a house or apartment, enlist in the military, but if I drink a beer I can get arrested. The ass-backwardness of America never ceases to amaze me. I see nothing wrong with drinking now and than. I think as long as you do everything in moderation it should be fine.

I'm hoping for weed to be legal as well. The U.S. is stupid for making Marijuana illegal. Do they realize that they can make a killing off legalizing and taxing weed? This could be the thing that can get us out the recession!

Volume 1, Issue 37, December 25, 2009: I Lied To Myself I Do Want A Man

Merry Christmas Everyone! I hope you're having a good one because I'm having a very blue one. Even thought I'm surronded by my family, I still feel pensive and melancholy. I feel so bad that I just used some unnecessary SAT words.

I know I've said before that I don't want a boyfriend at all and I wanted to remain single and just fuck around. I was lying to myself. Deep down all this time I realized that I really want a boyfriend badly. Even though 90% of my past relationships were horrible and many of them traumatizing, there is nothing worse than being single. Being single is like being on a rollercoaster ride, with many ups and downs and eventually I barf at the end of the ride. Basically, I'm trying to enjoy but at the end I'm always unhappy.

Don't get me wrong there are some definate pluses to being a single woman: 

1) Independance- You can go where ever you feel like, spend as much money as you want, its just basically all about you.

2) Girl Time-Having fun times with the girls this includes shopping, clubbing, and checking out the hotties. Its always great to have good friends around when you're feeling like a spinster at 19. Friends are always there when you are feeling like $2, they build you back up and make you feel like a $1,000,000 again.

3) Career/School- You'll get better grades in school, you might actually make the dean's list, you can focus on your career and all the long hours of sewing and getting yelled at from you boss. More money to spend on you.

4) No Strings Attached- You can stare any man up and down, have sex with anyone you please, go on numerous dates.

All of this sounds lovely but I tired to do the whole "I'm A Indepedance Woman Phase" but it just didn't work out for me. I thought I was a Samantha, but I'm a Charolette.

Ever since June of 2008 I've been a single woman. My ex was an abusive douchebag who made me feel like dog feces.  Just imagine someone beating the snot out of you for innocently speaking to your clearly gay friend. Someone having access to your facebook because they don't want you to talk to guys online. Having someone call you a bitch, slut, whore, fat, or the n-word as a term of endearment. Being with him was one of the worst times of my life, it took a while for me to leave him. As soon as the bastard talked about marrying me and having children I told him to fuck off and I never looked back.

 It felt so good to be free, I had started college and the future was bright for me.After maybe a couple months I started to get really lonely.I'm truly a serial monogamous, I'm used to being in one relationship after the next. This is the longest I've been single. I'm always used to having a guy there for me. Unforunately, I go to a university where the boy to girl ratio is every 7 girls to 3 guys, which equal a lot of lonely and horny bitches. Most of the guys at my school fall in 3 main categories: Taken, Gay, or Douche.

Taken-Has a girlfriend either on or off campus. Most likely will be really hot,nice, smart and talented. The good ones are always taken.

Gay: Might as well be considered a girl. There is no use for a woman trying to get with a straight guy.

Douche: Most of the male student body at my school. There are so many sub-categories of douche. The come in many manifestations. They can be basketball players, soccer players, preppy, lacrosse bros, club promoters, overtly religious, athesits, ghetto, the list goes on about the different types of dbags I run into and have fallen for at my school. Douches typically:
1) Want girls for only sex-A lot of the guys use the boy girl ratio as their playground. They basically have a choice of every type of female, black, white, asian, latina, big butt, blonde, big tits, red heads, goth chicks, so why commit to one? They want to tast all the colors of the rainbow.
2) The douche can also be taken and engage in activity number 1.
3) Play mind games with a girl by pretending that they actually like you or care for you and led you on to thinking that you are more than they see you as. They pretend to want a relationship, they say all the right things to get you liking them or loving them, But in the end, they only want to see you commit to the doggystyle position.

See? I can never win. I've tried meeting single men at school. I've tried talking with old guy friends from high school. I even tried meeting guys away from my school but it was just as bad. Same douche,different location and circumstances. Sometimes I feel like I've been cursed to never fall in love with someone or to never find my soulmate. I have to be the most unlucky person when it comes to men. Everytime I'm with a man, he always hurts me. Whether it's emotional or physical, I'm always the one with a broken heart in the end. What is wrong with me? Why can't a man ever love me and all 100% of me? All I've been is myself to these guys and they don't seem to like or love me for who I am. Why it that everytime I'm with a man all they want to do is try to break me apart and scatter around like a 1000 piece puzzle?

I know that I'm only 19 but I'm tired of waiting for that right person to come along when I need them and want them the most which is now.I miss having someone kiss my forehead, put their arms around me while I sleep, I miss hearing him breath and his heart beating. I miss that feeling of being in love and wanting to give everything and all for that special someone. I envy all of those lucky women with men around their arms. All the women who pride themselves and have a title wife, girlfriend, or fiancee. They have it so easy, they don't have to swim through a sea of losers and Dbags just to find someone to hold them, they have that special man on speed-dial, he is always ready and willing to do anything for her whether it's just buying her pads when she is on the rag, taking her to the place where they had their first kiss, reminding how beautiful she is everyday.

Volume 1, Issue 29, December 8, 2009: Since When Did Music Have A Race?

I don't think there is a genre of music I hate. If you look at all my Ipods, music lists, and Youtube playlists I have a bit of everything. Indian music? Check. Japanese music? Check. Metal? Check. Hip-hop? Check. If my ears like it and my souls feels it, its good music to me. I don't understand why people freak out or they are surprised when me a Black person is into other types of music besides Rap and R&B. For example, a friend of a friend was shocked when I was listening to a rock song. 

Girl: "Oh my god, you listen to this?"
Me: " Yeah"
Girl: "I thought you only liked rap music."
Me: "No, acutally rap music is probably my least favorite. I don't listen to it that much."
Girl: "Wow, I would never expect that from you."


Another instance of this, I was at home playing one of my favorite songs "Headstrong" by Trapt.


My Brother: "What are you listening to?"
Me: "Headstrong by Trapt."
My Brother: "You listen to that cracker music. You need to hang around Black people and play some black people music. You're so White sometimes"
Me: "Do you realize that Black people invented Rock & Roll? I prefer to hang around a diverse group of people and play whatever music I feel like." 
My Brother: HE GOT PWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hah ha hah haha


Since when did the color of your skin determines what type of music that you listen to? I mean is there some law that prohibits Black people from listening to other types of music? No one ever judges White people for what they listen to. It's always a problem when you are Black and different. Even in the music industry. You barely see any Black rocker, punks, or goths in music. You either have to be a rapper(a bad one at that and only talk about stereotypical shit) or a R&B artist.I'm just tired of people always trying to put Black people in a box. No we don't all live in the ghetto or on welfare. No we don't always have children out of wedlock. No we don't always listen to Rap and R&B.

Volume 1, Issue 12, October 18, 2009: I Hate You And Your Boyfriend

Am I the only one who is annoyed with all of this shitty "I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND" merchandise? It's ridiculous. We get it bitch, you love you boyfriend. Will you stop making lame t-shirts and crappy buttons professing your love to him? I also hate shirts that say "Wifey", the name of your boyfriend or girlfriend, and I hate it when couples do monthivessaries. Are you fucking kidding me? Months are nothing, it's years that count. 3 months is nothing to celebrate.I find it blantly superfical and slighty egotistical that people, especially the ones my age, boast of their one-dimensional relationships throught shitty shirts and monthivessaries. It bothers me because people make it seem like if you are not in a relationship than there is something wrong. Especially if you are a woman! People ask me all the time "you such a beautiful and smart woman, why don't you have a boyfriend?" Because I don't want one. Relationships lead to nothing but pain, heartbreak, and regrets. Trust me, I've been there and done that. I'm not saying that I don't like them, I don't want one now. I've been in relationships all through my high school years and im done for now. I'm tired of all the bullshit men say, do, and think, I'm tired of cheating bastards, I'm tired of liars, I'm tired of abusive assholes. I'm single and the only thing I want a man around for is to fuck or be friends. I just can't deal with that boyfriend/girlfriend shit. At least until I'm trying to get married.

Volume 1, Issue 9 October 15, 2009: You Better Work Bitch! Whoring Myself Out Of Brokeness!

In this recession I myself have been falling on hard times. I never been or felt so broke in my life. I guess this is what being an a adult is; being unhappy and broke. I'm so broke my pockets can't even afford to keep lint in them. I have a job, I got it during the summer. I work at a beauty supply store in Oxon Hill. It's alright, I worked full-time hours in the summer and I make about $140 each week. Now I'm barely working because of my hectic school schedule and plus the long commute to Oxon Hill to Arlington and than back to mi casa in the slums of Anacoastia/Congress Heights. I desperately need a new job, something that is closer to both my house and school and something that doesn't require dealing with short-tempered ghetto ass bitches. In the mean time, I shall whore myself through this blog and through my current job. 

Volume 1, Issue 7 October 13, 2009: I Have Come To Realize That I'm Probably Not Going To Marry Within My Culture Or Race

I always been interested in all types of men. Race isn't a factor or a huge deal breaker for me. I remember when I was little my first crush was a on a White guy and I remember having celeb crushes on NSYNC, The Backstreet Boys, and Leonardo DiCapro(mmmm he looked so smexy in Titanic). I haven't been with a Black guy in over 3-4 years. It's not that I'm not attracted to Black guys or that I don't like them, it just that I've become attracted to other types of guys more so than Black guys.

Another thing is, I find that maybe I intimidate a lot of Black men, because I have natural hair; it's very kinky and I often wear it in a fro. I get a lot of weird and sometimes rude and offensive comments from Black people( mostly Black guys) about my hair. I remember when I wore my afro out last winter. I was with my friends going out on the metro and a Black guy had looked at me strange and he was like "Damn, she taking it way back." Here are some  other comments I have gotten:

- *A guy raises his fist at me* "I'm down for the struggle with you my African queen!"
-" What are you doing to you hair?"
-" Are you going go out like that?"
-"You used to look god with you relaxer."
-"Are you in the Nation or the Panthers now?"
-"Those days are over, no one in that Black power crap anymore."
-"You look like an African booty-stracther."

I've notice with other races of people I always get compliments. When I was with a white guy( see my post Turning Off The Fan So Shit Won't Hit It) he really liked my hair natural. I don't know why this is but the only thing I can say about this is a quote from a good friend of mine, "The exotic is the erotic." Love who you want to love.

Volume 1, Issue 6 October 13, 2009: My Fro Fiasco.

Took out my braids last Friday with the help of my friends( thank you!) and For a couple of days my hair was in its kinky state. My mother was telling me that I should press out my hair to make it manageble so that I can comb out my tangles easier and also so that my afro could be blown out and look more full. So last night, my mom pressed out my hair and it took 2+ hours. My hair was still slighty kinky but it was a little bit more straighter. I was going to wear my afro out today, but when I woke up saw a disaster. My hair seemed to have gotten kinkier overnight; different parts of it were straight and some parts were kinker. Ugh!!!! I threw a fit. I had called my mom and told her and she was at work. Luckliy, I have some lacefronts lying around my house. I needed to go to school and I didn't have a lot of time so I put one on. I've gotten a lot of compliements on my lacefront today but I would have much rather have worn my own hair. Well it looks like I have to go to a Dominican salon anyways, because my hair needs to be managed and the Dominicanas do the baddest rollersets, blowouts and hair striaghting without relaxers.

Volume 1, Issue 2 October 12, 2009: My Life Goals( My Mommy Told Me To Write Them Down)

Ok, since I've been in my current state of mind which is a Shitfest and mixed with a Mindfuck. My mom asked me about my goals for life and she told me to write them down.

-Design clothes for fashion shows @ my university.(goal in progress)
-Get an internship for my junoir or senoir year.(goal in progess)
-Save and make more money for traveling/shopping/for my first place.
-Graduate from university.(goal in process, 90 more credits to go)
-Move away from the slums of DC, preferablly to London, Tokyo, or NYC.
-Become a buyer or visual merchandiser for a couple of years.
-Become an asisstant stylist for photo shoots, fashion shows, or celebrities.
-Write a book about my sad and horrible childhood.
-Travel to as many countries as possible.
-Find my prince charming, who won't give many any bullshit and live happily ever after in Manhattan.
-Pop out babies or get my tubes tied.( this one is a maybe)
-Buy an nice herve ledger dress for my big Caribbean booty and tetas.

Volume 1, Issue 1 October 11, 2009: Turning Off The Fan So Shit Won't Hit It!

Shit, Where do I begin? Well for starters, my name is Charlyndria Ayita Elaura Horton. Yeah, that's a mouthful, and I'm having the most craptacular semester in college ever. I'll explain later, right now I'll give you a little bit more background info of yours truly.


 I was born and raised in DC. DC stands for Don't Come To The Most Fucking Boring City on Earth. I'm the middle child out of 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls. I'm currently enrolled in my thrid semester of college and I'm a Sophmore. I'm a Fashion Merchandising major with a minor in Fashion Design. I have high hopes and dreams of becoming a buyer, stylist, and a fashion show coordinatior. I'm trying to work hard at school and as many DC fashion events to get my feet wet and eventually dive into the world of fashion until it consumes me with all of its Chanel, Hermes, Herve Ledger, Escada,Kevin Hall, and Versace.


Now for why I'm currently frustrated. Firstly, I've been having problems with my financial aid at school. I had to commute to my college campus and cancel my housing so that I wouldn't owe my university money. I hate commuting in DC. I don't drive or own a car and I have to rely on the constant failure called the DC Metro System. It sucks moving into to your dorm and than having to move out in the middle of the semester, after you decorated your whole room and farted on your matress. Secondly, I feel like I'm not shining as well as I can in school. I study, do my homework and read from PM to AM and I feel like I'm turning average grades. I want to get my GPA up this semester so I can get some new scholarships so I can pay for this $30,000+ education.


Thirdly and lastly, I am tired of dealing with all men who are douchebags, tools, homothugs, and all around assholes. Last semester, I had a sort of kinda budding romance( at least I thought it was) with a male friend ( I thought we were friends) of mine. We knew each other for a couple of months as freshman and during the last few weeks of the Spring 2009 semester, we got a little frisky. Nothing spectacular like sex happened,it was mostly making out and telling me lies and bullshit about "wanting to start something with me." I can't believe I fell for this shit. So when we were about to go home for the Summer Mr.Douchebag Mctool took me out for sushi and pretended like he liked me.


We exchanged addresses and house numbers and he told me to call him when I got home. I called him and he never answered, for 3 months. He disappeared off the face of the Earth; he deleted his fb and his phone was "disconnected". Fast forward to August 2009,when we got back to school, I saw him a couple of times and I said hi and he didn't say anything back at me. One day, I saw him eating in the cafeteria by himself and we started to talk. He was telling me about all this bullshit that happened to him in the Summer. Guess what this fool tells me, his ass went to Egypt/ Isreal to see some pyramids and shit. After that he and his buddies look at me all funny now and he doesn't even talk to me anymore. I see him all the time and he never wants to hang out with me.Seriously what the crap? I guess he doesn't "want to start something with me."


Why can't people be straight up nowadays? If he wanted just sex, why didn't he say so in the first place? I would have probably taken his offer for sex. But he lead me on thinking that we were friends and that I was important to him and that he wanted a real relationship with me. SMDH! Honesty is truely the best policy people.


This is just my crazy ass life so far. I'm trying to build my confidence back up right now. I got to get throught this shitfest and come out shining like a Chinese Gold Medalist.